Well, I've finally reached the Friday doldrums at the office where it seems like it should be 4:45 but it's actually only 1:30. I will do my best to change all that by sitting here and typing what's on my mind for you all to enjoy. The morning started off by Charlene W. (Wait, that's too obvious, so let's call her C. Warner) coming into the office complaining of strep throat. She refuses to see a doctor other than the one she regularly goes to so she's not on any antibiotics and could very well be infecting everyone here! Way to potentially ruin everyone's 3 day weekend, Chuck...Did i mention she's also pregnant? Not a good time to be stubborn about seeing a doctor! If I am forced into bedrest this weekend, I want it to be because I am nursing a throbbing headache from binge drinking the night before or because I have 3 playboy bunnies tying me to the bedposts...Not because some b*tch at the office was too proud to get some meds.
Ok, now that all that's out of the way, let me express my feelings towards New Orleans---Everyone else is. Does anyone else notice that every single refugee is black? Something is wrong with this picture...My real anger is not being able to see the original New Orleans. I know what you're thinking, "Alex, you can just go to a strip club and chicks will take their tops off for you there! You don't even need beads!" That's a good point, but until they have cops on horseback at strip clubs shooting pepper spray at everyone and watching the strippers dance in vomit, give me the Big Easy. There was a letter to the editor in the Oregonian the other day, saying that Katrina was a sign from God, punishing America's liberal views...Did anyone else notice that only the red states were affected by the hurricane? Scientifically, the wierd weather in recent years has been caused by global warming and the greenhouse effect. Theologically, God is pissed at the republicans for causing that sh*t....
Ok, let's talk about my weekend plans...Everyone and their mom will be in Corvallis this weekend and most of them don't even go to school there and are oblivious about the Beavers' upcoming game against PSU on Saturday. As a Duck fan, I feel as though it is my duty to paint the town green and yellow this weekend. Mostly yellow though, as I'm sure I will be urinating much more than puking. It's going to be a bender if I go...No one should be surprised if I come home in a body bag...
Blake Spencer and I were talking about the whole "Take your child into work" day. But what about those of us who don't have children? We've decided to introduce the "Take your skank into work" day...Just bring in the random girl you had a one night stand with over the weekend and let her shadow you all day. We think it's a neat idea! No idea how that conversation got started last night...All I know is that $2 PBR's bring brilliance to one's mind. Enjoying my blog so far, Mom? Well, speaking of skanks, C. Warner just sent me an order so I'd better get to it. Can't wait to see the death threats from everyone!
Ok, now that all that's out of the way, let me express my feelings towards New Orleans---Everyone else is. Does anyone else notice that every single refugee is black? Something is wrong with this picture...My real anger is not being able to see the original New Orleans. I know what you're thinking, "Alex, you can just go to a strip club and chicks will take their tops off for you there! You don't even need beads!" That's a good point, but until they have cops on horseback at strip clubs shooting pepper spray at everyone and watching the strippers dance in vomit, give me the Big Easy. There was a letter to the editor in the Oregonian the other day, saying that Katrina was a sign from God, punishing America's liberal views...Did anyone else notice that only the red states were affected by the hurricane? Scientifically, the wierd weather in recent years has been caused by global warming and the greenhouse effect. Theologically, God is pissed at the republicans for causing that sh*t....
Ok, let's talk about my weekend plans...Everyone and their mom will be in Corvallis this weekend and most of them don't even go to school there and are oblivious about the Beavers' upcoming game against PSU on Saturday. As a Duck fan, I feel as though it is my duty to paint the town green and yellow this weekend. Mostly yellow though, as I'm sure I will be urinating much more than puking. It's going to be a bender if I go...No one should be surprised if I come home in a body bag...
Blake Spencer and I were talking about the whole "Take your child into work" day. But what about those of us who don't have children? We've decided to introduce the "Take your skank into work" day...Just bring in the random girl you had a one night stand with over the weekend and let her shadow you all day. We think it's a neat idea! No idea how that conversation got started last night...All I know is that $2 PBR's bring brilliance to one's mind. Enjoying my blog so far, Mom? Well, speaking of skanks, C. Warner just sent me an order so I'd better get to it. Can't wait to see the death threats from everyone!
posted by Alex at 1:21 PM
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