So I ran into my ex girlfriend the other day...Then I backed up and ran into her again! Hey, I gotta start with a hook. So I took my Math 105 midterm yesterday and feel pretty good about it. Although, I've said those exact same words many times before, so who the hell knows. I get my test back in the mail sometime next week, so right now it just feels like I'm on the Maury Povich Show waiting for the paternity tests to come back to prove that I'm not the father. Doesn't really matter if it's a math or paternity test...If I get the desired results, I will jump around screaming, "Yeah, bitch! Yeah! I told you so, you dumb bitch!" ---When it comes to 4 year old Jason....Alex, you are not the father.
The retarded can't go to heaven, which is a shame. Not because they're bad people, but because they just don't understand the concept of a higher diety or the afterlife. You can't beat it into them like you can with the blacks or Indians...Ok, if you are black or Native American, and you're offended, then you obviously missed the point of my story and you need to find Jesus. If you're retarded and you were offended, then you're not really retarded.
The beard is still growing. I've never had it this long, and I'm actually praying for the ducks to lose to Arizona this weekend. Facial hair and oral herpes do not mix well! My fantasy football team is still undefeated after week 6, so I think I'm gonna get drunk and beat up some midgets. So I heard that a window washer in Portland fell to his death this morning next to my old office...Let's just remember the good times we had with Ernesto Sanchez. Apparently, he thought the word carabiner was racially motivated and refused to use them as a window washer. That goofy bastard....One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla...floor. I thought he would have died landscaping...Always playing with those damn lawnmower blades. He could never get enough of those lawnmower blades.
Code brought up a damn good point...O'Donell's is probably the best kept secret for nightlife in Eugene. Ok, sure, the only people to hit on are NASCAR dads, the disabled and potential serial killers, but if you find yourself sitting next to one of them, start a conversation with them (Especially the dude in the wheelchair)! You wont regret it. You know these guys will have a story to tell...Always more interesting to hear their views on life and stories of their turbulent past, than the unbearable banter from sorority chicks who talk about...Ummm, actually, they wont talk to me, so I have no idea what they talk about. And let me tell ya, it always brings a smile to my face when I see a black guy walk into O'Donell's with a white woman. Get ready for some stare downs. The black buck will look about as comfortable as Dubya during the 2004 presidential debates and reminds you of when Andy Dufresne got surrounded by the "sisters".
That's all I got.
The retarded can't go to heaven, which is a shame. Not because they're bad people, but because they just don't understand the concept of a higher diety or the afterlife. You can't beat it into them like you can with the blacks or Indians...Ok, if you are black or Native American, and you're offended, then you obviously missed the point of my story and you need to find Jesus. If you're retarded and you were offended, then you're not really retarded.
The beard is still growing. I've never had it this long, and I'm actually praying for the ducks to lose to Arizona this weekend. Facial hair and oral herpes do not mix well! My fantasy football team is still undefeated after week 6, so I think I'm gonna get drunk and beat up some midgets. So I heard that a window washer in Portland fell to his death this morning next to my old office...Let's just remember the good times we had with Ernesto Sanchez. Apparently, he thought the word carabiner was racially motivated and refused to use them as a window washer. That goofy bastard....One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla...floor. I thought he would have died landscaping...Always playing with those damn lawnmower blades. He could never get enough of those lawnmower blades.
Code brought up a damn good point...O'Donell's is probably the best kept secret for nightlife in Eugene. Ok, sure, the only people to hit on are NASCAR dads, the disabled and potential serial killers, but if you find yourself sitting next to one of them, start a conversation with them (Especially the dude in the wheelchair)! You wont regret it. You know these guys will have a story to tell...Always more interesting to hear their views on life and stories of their turbulent past, than the unbearable banter from sorority chicks who talk about...Ummm, actually, they wont talk to me, so I have no idea what they talk about. And let me tell ya, it always brings a smile to my face when I see a black guy walk into O'Donell's with a white woman. Get ready for some stare downs. The black buck will look about as comfortable as Dubya during the 2004 presidential debates and reminds you of when Andy Dufresne got surrounded by the "sisters".
That's all I got.
posted by Alex at 8:37 AM
6 Comments:
too bad you didn't say mullet instead of beard, you might be 6-0 in fantasy hockey. You may get to shave though, if the Ducks read and believe the sports pages. Arizona's not been blown out in any of their losses and may be a well kept secret. I'd personally start the 2nd string and get behind by a couple of td's and have the starters frothing when they got in. Oh, and there's nothin wrong with a little lawn mower fixation.
Two things.....W passed math 105 the first time!
You will pass it.....even if you have to take the short yellow bus to class.....
It always makes my day when I wake up and have a voicemail from A-Train at 12:54 that morning. You know the type..."hey, what's...Jesus Christ! I'll call you back!" (click)
Finally, I have read from the infamous A-train blog. Did you really get raped by a large black man in the high shool showers, I sense a tone of racial fear. On the O'Donnels hot spot, there is a great chance of finding the next Kip Kinkle in the back on video poker, but then again the ladies come large... On a lighter note, I like your style and will keep an eye on you at the next Coaches function, maybe a hall pass to a half time speach to post on. Till then i hope your beard gets caught in your zipper and the Keibler elf has to borrow from you casue the Ducks are running the table...with a black qb my nubian brother.
V-diddy----You gotta love the bigger girls....Warm in the winter, shade in the summer and they give the best bj's because they're so damn hungry all the time.
GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS GO BEAVS
The DUCKS are going down this year.
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