A COMMENTARY BY WILFORD BRIMLEY

Where have you been, Alex? I've been missing your writins' more than the oatmeal I used to eat with brown sugar and maple syrup. Can't eat ma oatmeal with those fixin's no more on account of my diabetuhs. Oh God, how I miss that maple syrup...Can't eat pancakes or waffles with maple syrup neither. How do you think that makes me feel, Alex?! Makes me feel angry...Makes me feel agitated and even irate. The only thing that keeps me going nowadays is knowing that the good people at Liberty Medical deliver ma diabetuhs testing supplies right to my door. Like clockwork, Alex. The fellas over there are like little worker bees and I'm the queen. If I'm at a cockfight in Tijuana, I know exactly when I need leave to be back at ma house so I can get my diabetuhs testing supplies from Liberty Medical. You should always check your blood sugar and check it often...No reason not to. Just like your blog, Alex.

A few months ago, your blog used to be delivered to me as often as ma diabetuhs testing supplies from Liberty Medical, and I ate it up like I eat ma Quaker Oatmeal. Now what is there? A post from a over a month back about some friend of your's riding a damn horse??? I live on a damn ranch, Alex and you know that! You wanted a horseback riding story, I would've given you one. Hell, Alex, I'll give you one now: One time I was riding on horseback and decided to ride it up to Eugene, Oregon to strike my friend in the mouth and box him in the ears. Then I took off my belt and flogged him repeatedly until he begged for his momma. Did you like that story, Alex? Maybe you can write all about it in a week or two.

Aww dammit, you made me angry now. Damn near broke ma window when i tossed ma desk lamp across the room. I want more blogs from ya, but you're tougher to get ahold of than Tom Cruise in "The Firm". I gotta go now...Ma damn wife is hollerin' at me to reprimand the little Mexican fella who cuts the grass.