So I'm scaling Mt. Vesuvius and I start to fall...I mean I'm about to die...I'll never forget the terror. As I'm falling, I'm thinking, "Holy shit, Alex...Haven't you been smoking peyote for six straight days and couldn't some of this be in your mind?" And you know what? It was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mt. Vesuvius!
Q: So why couldn't the little kid see the pirate movie?
A: Because it was rated "RRRRRRR"
Well, not a whole lot to talk about this week, except for those damn pirates. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Some Somalian dudes in a friggin' life raft trying to take over a cruise ship...Well sure....that'll happen. They had guns and ammo (Much like their cousins in America), but all they could do was put a couple dents in the hull. After watching "Black Hawk Down" (Porn movie: "Black Cock Down"....I dunno...They just come to me....Kinda like a gift, ya know?) you'd think they'd be better prepared for action of that---"calliber" (snickers). Ok, and if they can afford an arsenal like that, all be it weak, what the hell are they trying to steal things for? Something tells me that they weren't doing it to feed their families. They probably had scurvy and just needed some cans of fruit or something. If you ask me, child trafficking in third world countries is much more lucrative...They should just do that.
I just booked a house in Sunriver for a nice romantic weekend for my birthday. It will be all for nothing though if none of my friends from the swingers club show up. Oh well, sometime that weekend, I plan to just have some alone time. You know, just taking it easy...Doing things like getting drunk and playing in oncoming traffic. It will be nice to finally be able to relax a bit.
All my friends have been telling me that I need to shoot my own turkey for Thanksgiving over the past several years. They said it's one of the most exciting and rewarding things you can do. I never believed them, but they were right! I finally went out and did it a few days ago, and wow, it was absolutely amazing! Just imagine yourself holding up the gun, taking aim, pulling the trigger, watching people in the supermarket running around screaming....What a rush!
Q: So why couldn't the little kid see the pirate movie?
A: Because it was rated "RRRRRRR"
Well, not a whole lot to talk about this week, except for those damn pirates. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? Some Somalian dudes in a friggin' life raft trying to take over a cruise ship...Well sure....that'll happen. They had guns and ammo (Much like their cousins in America), but all they could do was put a couple dents in the hull. After watching "Black Hawk Down" (Porn movie: "Black Cock Down"....I dunno...They just come to me....Kinda like a gift, ya know?) you'd think they'd be better prepared for action of that---"calliber" (snickers). Ok, and if they can afford an arsenal like that, all be it weak, what the hell are they trying to steal things for? Something tells me that they weren't doing it to feed their families. They probably had scurvy and just needed some cans of fruit or something. If you ask me, child trafficking in third world countries is much more lucrative...They should just do that.
I just booked a house in Sunriver for a nice romantic weekend for my birthday. It will be all for nothing though if none of my friends from the swingers club show up. Oh well, sometime that weekend, I plan to just have some alone time. You know, just taking it easy...Doing things like getting drunk and playing in oncoming traffic. It will be nice to finally be able to relax a bit.
All my friends have been telling me that I need to shoot my own turkey for Thanksgiving over the past several years. They said it's one of the most exciting and rewarding things you can do. I never believed them, but they were right! I finally went out and did it a few days ago, and wow, it was absolutely amazing! Just imagine yourself holding up the gun, taking aim, pulling the trigger, watching people in the supermarket running around screaming....What a rush!
posted by Alex at 2:01 PM
2 Comments:
No you haven't been to Mt. Visuvius. I'm quite sure of that.
I never did quite figure you out and then we both left. Sometimes I thought you were a snob, sometimes I thought you were odd, sometimes funny. Reading what you write is funny because it sounds like the drunken conversations we had, but I am under the assumption that you are sober as you write these. Anyway, you are truly unique and this is a reflection of that...
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